Logline: An idealistic Senate staffer in danger of losing her job finds she may lose her life instead when the f**king mummies of the Founding Fathers descend on the Capitol to remake the Senate in their image: a dead one.
- Feature
- Comedy
- 127 Pages
- Coverfly
Synopsis
Alex Hernandez is tired of this shit. She’s been chief of staff to a senator for years now, and nothing’s really changed – in fact, the Senate just acquitted an obviously guilty president of high crimes and misdemeanors. No longer satisfied with sitting around waiting on inches of change at a time and listening to politicians claim to be living out the Founders’ intentions, she drafts the most ambitious piece of legislation since the birth of the nation and starts circulating it all around the building. This bill does it all: it kills the filibuster, enacts automatic voter registration for all citizens, reallocates the Senate, establishes Election Day as a Federal holiday, and dumps the Electoral College in favor of the popular vote! It’s perfection!
Unfortunately, the majority caucus forces a vote on another one of Alex’s bills that establishes Universal Basic Income, planning to defeat it and score some easy political points. To make matters worse, Alex’s boss doesn’t appreciate her impatience and threatens to fire her if she can’t clean this up. Jayda Mason, Alex’s best friend and staffer to another senator, tries to support her but admits it’s not looking good.
Things take a fucked up turn, however, following a strange encounter with the mummy of Alexander Hamilton in a coffee line. Alex and Jayda soon discover that the entire opposition caucus has been massacred in the cloak room and the minority party can now take control of the Senate. Their first act is to pass the UBI bill, and then schedule a media scrum to score some political points of their own and drop some claims of acting as the Founders intended.
Things turn supremely fucked up though when the Founding Fathers actually appear! The mummies attack the caucus on the steps of the Senate Chamber, wiping them out. Alex and Jayda escape safely and seek out the Senate Librarian, who tells them the Founders are back to protect their original design and that the only way to break the curse is to destroy Alex’s monumental bill before it can be passed! With copies spread all over the building, time running out, and nowhere to hide, Alex will have to choose between truly doing what the Founders intended or realizing her dream. But if she does decide to follow her heart, she just might find that it stops beating in the grip of decayed, undead hands…